We have moments when our confidence falters. Situations at work,such as receiving negative feedback from a manager or making a mistake on a project, can trigger our inner self-critic and cause us to doubt our abilities.
What can we do to build up our resiliency and help us stay confident, so that those moments don’t weigh us down?
1. Create your “nailed” it accomplishments list. Find 10 minutes to yourself, where you can sit alone and focus, and write down (or type) all of your successes and achievements in life. Completely stream of conscious writing, the list should include anything from learning to ride a bike or swim as a kid to graduating from college, or having children, getting a promotion or learning a new language. Just get them all down. And then review the list. I’m willing to bet that you will have filled a page. Keep adding to it over time, and revisit it when you feel less confident, to reinforce that you’ve had a very successful life thus far, that this tough time is just a momentary disruption and you’ll be adding more successes to the list in the near future.
2. Visit your #winning folder. This is the place where you keep (or should be!) all the emails you receive from colleagues that praise your work, thank you, acknowledge your value and more so you can re-read them to remind yourself of the positive impact you’re having on others.
3. Listen to your boost playlist. Distraction helps us get out of our own heads. I have a curated set of songs that I go to when I need to lift my spirits, get myself back on track and give myself a reset. It has been proven that music can have a powerful effect on your state of mind, including reducing anxiety.
4. Call your peer mentor posse. This is your group of people who will empathize, set you straight or give you fresh perspective when you’re struggling and need encouragement.
5. Review your “how I got here” note. In your phone, you should have a note to yourself that definitively reminds you why you have the role/job you’re in today. It should state something like, ” I am an [account executive] focused on [new business development] because of my expertise/skills/successes in [strategic influencing and sales]. The leaders at my company believe in my abilities and I deserve this role as a result of my efforts.”
6. Create a new progress habit. Although you’re in the midst of a difficult time, remember to think about what you’ve learned from this experience and how you can apply it going forward. Instead of focusing on perfection and the fact that you didn’t get it 100% right, think about the progress you’re making in your knowledge journey, and set yourself up for success in the future by incorporating new milestones into your workplan ahead.
7. Quit the negative talk. This is easier said than done. However, rather than just rehashing what went wrong over and over in your head, what if you stop and also ask yourself, “What went right today?” This forces you to get past the mistakes or negativity and give yourself credit for something positive as well. It can provide balance in the moment.
Photo by Noah Naf on Unsplash